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雅思流程图范文及深度点評:巧克力的制作

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发表于 2017-7-22 16:57:19 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
    ThediagramshowsthestagesintheprocessChocolatecomesfromthecacaotree,whichNext,thebrownbeansarespreadinthesuntAfterbeingroasted,thebeansarecrushed



WRITING TASK 1
  You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
  The illustrations below show how chocolate is produced.
  Summarise the informaiton by selecting and reporting the main features.
  Write at least 150 words.


【高分范文及深度点评】
  The diagram shows the stages in the process of making chocolate.【所有的小作文第一句话都要用一般现在时。流程图必备三个词:process:整个過程, stage:阶段,step:步驟】
  Chocolate comes from the cacao tree, which is grown in parts of South America, Africa and Indonesia.【开頭不能冲上来就直接介绍cacao tree,而是通過主题词chocolate引出,否則显得太唐突】【流程图特点之一:介绍过程要使用一般现在时】【流程图特点之二:大量使用定语从句,将有关联的两句话连接。】【流程图特点之三:大量使用被动语态】The tree produces large red pods which contain white cocoa beans. Firstly,【流程图特点之四:使用一些表示顺序的连接词】when the pods are ripe,they are harvested, the beans are removed and they are fermented for several days in large wooden boxes.【三个句子的并列:“句子A,句子B and 句子C”。】During the fermenting process, the beans turn brown.【流程图特點之五:要适当地添加個别图中没有交代但能從图片中直接讀出来的的一些內容,否則可能达不到字数要求。但是一定要把握尺度,千万不要加上自己的主观观点,否則会扣分】
  Next, the brown beans are spread in the sun to dry. They are then put in large sacks and transported by train or lorry. After this, the beans are taken to a chocolate factory where they are roasted in an oven at temperatures of between 250 and 350 degree Celsius.
  After being roasted, the beans are crushed and the outer shell is removed. This part is not needed for making chocolate. Finally, the inner part of the bean is pressed and liquid chocolate is produced.
  【流程图特點之六:一般不需要写总结】
  最后再总结一下流程图的特點:
  特点一:现在时
  特點二:定語从句
  特点三:被动语态
  特点四:顺序词
  特點五:適当添加
  特点六:無总结

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